Contortionist Wanted

Adventure Location:Decatur, Al.
Adventure Date:August 24, 2018
Click a pic to enlarge it.

The last couple of days have been a trial for the OFM joints and muscles. He is on a tear doing a deep cleaning of the Castle. What he did not realize was the amount of flexing and contortions that would be required of his ancient worthless  physical abilities. So far in three days he has nearly finished the bathroom.

He manages about an hour and a half then absolutely has to rest for an hour at least. Remember the Castle is small with very minimal aisle ways. That means lots of kneeling and standing nearly on your head as you fit your body around that corner with a light in one hand and the cleaning implement in the other. Your head becomes the object leaning on something to keep you upright in the effort. Very quickly your neck is complaining and some joint is screaming “HURRY UP FOOL”.  What it boils down to is that the next morning as you attempt to roll out of bed, muscles you did not know humans have wad up into little cramped knots and you writhe in odd dance moves. Have you ever had neck cramp so bad it sucks your chin down to your knees while you try to stand up??? It is not a good way of trying to have tooooo much fun.

Here is a  picture of the cubby hole that the toilet was shoe horned into.

We had to convince the OFM to shove his head between the cabinets on either side and curve his neck enough to see the back of the cabinet while kneeling on one knee. Then grab the mirror with his left hand and squeeze his right arm into the middle of this mess of human parts with a brush to clean the cavity holding toilet flushing parts while watching his work in the mirror. Oh and by the way you can forget about that non-necessity called breathing while doing this. After a couple of times of doing this exercise the eight square inches back there will be moderately clean. Sort of.

After that mess it seemed easy to do a handstand with one arm while holding a bucket of wash water with your toes above you while your free hand cleaned another spot. Then after that was finished you can hop right up pleased you got that part done. We are joking about the hop right up part. Needless this will take a lot longer than he thought it would.

How about some good news? The OFM put together a nice supper tonight. He chopped up two pork chops and put them to slow cooking in a pot. When they were nearly done a can of BBQ flavored beans was added and the mex wa simmered until it was ready to eat. In the meantime some pre-chopped coleslaw mix was opened and some placed in a bowl. A new pretty good coleslaw dressing was opened and mixed into the slaw with fresh ground coarse black pepper.

Then we went back to the stove and added garlic powder and some fresh ground black pepper to the beans and port chops. We had planned to add some fresh chopped yellow onion to the beans immediately after cutting off the heat but they were forgotten.

This turned out really well and there is enough to combine with something tomorrow for a meal. The OFM is not in a class with George Yates ( ) when it comes to food preparation but you can tell by his Buddha Belly that he does OK. 

With a little luck the Teams will find something non-acrobatic tomorrow for trying to have tooooo much fun.

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